ED- Sex- What's on your Mind?
'It's happening every time now, my erection is there ready to go, she's ready and then I start making love - and then it goes soft!'
I have heard this so many times and it something that's very difficult to talk about for most men, but there is always a way, a solution to ensure this doesn't happen again. I've listed the main reasons this happens, obviously everyone is unique and individual and there could be so many more reasons that are physical but today we're looking at this through the lens of the mind.
1) Every man has had a sexual experience that didn't conclude in orgasm, but if this plays on your mind it can quickly become a state of anxiety.
2) Overthinking - sometimes it's nice to plan a night of sex or the next move but when you start thinking, shall I turn her over, shall I do this......all the energy goes to your mind and not your erection. Your mind just can't focus on what's happening in the moment, thoughts of work, negativity, traumatic experiences, your own body image. All these and more can shut down the sensations that enable blood to flow into your erection.
3) Visual overload when things are just getting too sexy and all you can concentrate on is the porn on the screen or the way she looks beside you, the brain is stimulated but the body isn't.
4) A new relationship, when you find a lovely new partner but you're not ready, memories of a failed relationship plays on your mind. And maybe you just don't know your new partner well enough yet, to trust and know everything will be OK no matter how good the sex is, that she knows the real you and not just your image.
4) You're not in a safe place when you make love, this is not always a tangible space but it can be in your mind too- if you think you could be seen or heard by others or a partner has ridiculed you personally, leaving you 'feeling not good enough' even if it was said playfully.
5) When you were young you were told sex was dirty, disgusting, only for making babies. You were never told or imagined that sex was and self pleasure was joyful and an incredible feeling and energy. That it was OK to make love to someone you felt connected to and loved being with, even if you didn't know if it was a forever situation. Guilt for feeling pleasure in life and our own body
6) If you ever had a sexual experience where you felt violated, were made to feel dirty or even a time when your partner intimated that she wanted you to do 'it' quickly, she wasn't really into the sex but 'let' you do it so she could get to sleep etc. Sex becomes a negative experience and this leaves a negative imprint in the mind.
7) There was a pressure to make your partner pregnant.
8) When the trust between to people has been shattered, humiliation and worthlessness.
The power of sexual energy is lifegiving and life enhancing, not every sexual experience is perfect. But this sexual energy is also a natural part of life, nurturing ourselves and giving pleasure to others. You can get back to that place of trust in your body and optimum sexual energy and a strong erection.
Self love is a huge part of feeling good about yourself. Making Love should be an expression of love between two people who have a heart connection and foundation that is within a comfortable place. This self love manifests in caring enough about yourself to feel worthy of self care in order to enjoy a healthy loving life.
During a session a sacred space is held for you. You learn to be in the present moment and allow your body to respond, no rush, just being. Breathwork is important to let go of the past and also to energize the body for a strong and 'authentic' erection and importantly to reach your orgasmic potential. Other sexual energy practices which will heighten your pleasure together with time to savour a profound massage to intensify and re-awaken your innate male power.
You're welcome to call me to discuss a one to one session 0873435081 You can heal! Return to Your Natural Body.